2008

“The thing is, I’m only pro-life when it comes to...”
— Sarah

Shapes

Sara: Can you describe what it looks like?
Sarah: Well, it's kind of.... hmmm. It's sort of the shape of quinoa.
Sara: You mean... round?
Sarah: Oh. Yes.

Sarah brought me a What Would A Unicorn Do spin chart...

Listen

“Not having my emotions manipulated is such a weird...”
— Calvin/Bill Watterson

To Do List

Doesn’t life just work out perfectly sometimes?

so astute

yourmonkeycalled: Those cars that honk when you lock them are like people who shout when they...

These guys exhumed someone's skull and used...

Please Do Not Interrupt Dictionary Time. (Oh, Cricket, my...

The only word that can possibly describe this is YES. Also,...

vinh

“If cooking is an art, I think we’re in our Dada...”
— David Sedaris

My garden is happy these days

Fish Foam and Spherified Mango Juice

To Whomever Is Eating My Garden: If you’re gonna snack...

“Change before you have to.”
— Jack Welch

Listen

Self-Esteem Robot #1

“Never ask a man what computer he uses. If it’s a Mac, he’ll...”
— Tom Clancy (via azspot) (via...

The bacon wallet would be best used right after you cashed...

Precisely why tumblr is perfect for me. I can’t really...

“One day you will ask me which is more important, my life or...”
— Khalil Gibran

“And you’re not happy but you’re funny And...”
— Rilo Kiley

“Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly, and they always...”
— Rita Rudner (via tumblinas)

“You shouldn’t buy me things. Save your money for...”
— www.ThingsMyBoyfriendSays.com

The Things I Learn At School

During World War I, when times were tough, Sigmund Freud once requested that his publisher pay him...

Listen

Wes Anderson embroidery? Win.

what social work grad students chat...

11.02 PM
Diana: hey girl what family do you have to assess for practice?
Diana: do you have the one with the PTSD veteran?
Sara: no, we have the 21-year-old meth user
Sara: with the baby daughter wandering around in the street
Diana: oh i see
Diana: hey who does joanna have?
Sara: mmm… idk, lemme check
Diana: omg thank you
11.05 PM
Sara: jo, u there?
Joanna: here!
Sara: do u have the fam with the PTSD veteran for the assessment?
Joanna: nah, the HIV+ crack addict sex worker with syphilis
Joanna: & son in jail
Sara: oh, whack
11.09 PM
me: nope
Diana: oh.
Sara: & I know the other sarah doesn’t, cuz she has the fam with the severely and persistently mentally ill mom
Sara: did u already ask renee?
Diana: ya, but she had the lady with leukemia
Sara: booo.
Diana: guess I’m totally screwed then
Sara: oh amber just got on, brb
11.16 PM
Sara: amber!
Amber: what up pimp
Sara: who do you have for the family assessment/intervention thing?
Amber: the gay family
Sara: oh.

Dissociative Identity Disorder

… It’s all fun & games until someone loses an I. 

 glowing end of marshmallow roasting stick + long exposure =...

W.W.J.D. about these ridiculous gas prices?

Listen

 Hi, Michigan.  I miss you

What I Look For In A Band

boringloser: Good Songs.

“I want a house… and a boyfriend… and some...”
— Joanna, on her birthday

Behold the wonders achieved during Lisa Frank’s glory...

Trapper Keepers of My Heart

Listen

 Proof that McDonald’s is good for something other...

Hi, Boyfriend 

Unicorn Pencils Included

Over the past few days, I’ve been engaging in some healthy reflection regarding the completion...

 Michelle, on Berendo Street.  

Hi, Eugene.   … Yes, Eugene, I remember how...

Sterlz, I have to devote three solid weeks to working on my...

“Art: that great undogmatized church.”
— Ellen Key

OMG abbrev. FUBAR

The phrase “World Wide Web” contains 12 letters and three syllables. The initialism...

“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is...”
— Antoine de Saint Exupery, Le...

...Well? I demand an answer!

0100100001101111011101110010000001101101011 0000101101110011110010010000001100111011001 0101100101011...

“And true love waits In haunted attics And true love lives On...”
— Radiohead

“Every time I post something personal and no one posts after...”
— Vinh

Listen

“If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my...”
— Kurt Vonngut,...

Attention, Boyfriend: This is what happens when you leave a...

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself...”
— Harold Whitman

Disorganized Notes on my Father

My dad is one of the best people I have ever known.   He can instantly identify the artist and title...

Love

rdmcpherson: there?
me: hi Daddy
rdmcpherson: hi darlin'
me: sup?
rdmcpherson: do you ever sing?
me: yup. why?
rdmcpherson: would you sing along with me on guitar?
me: of course!
rdmcpherson: no one sings with me
me: i'll sing with you whenever you want.
rdmcpherson: I miss Jody adding harmonies
me: i'm good at harmonies; i got my ear from you and mom.
rdmcpherson: did I mention I loved you?
me: I LOVE YOU TOO

 Gabby plays the zither in my backyard.

A Frequent Conversation

Woman 1: I just don't get why he won't at least *pretend* to like the music I like. He just criticizes it all the time.
Woman 2: Do you pretend to like the music he likes?
Woman 1: Of course! Do you think I really enjoy bands with cool haircuts that sound *exactly* like other bands that did it better, first?
Woman 2: Well, you enjoy spending time with him while he's happy.
Woman 1: Right!
Woman 2: But dudes aren't like that. I mean, they like us to be happy, but they prefer our happiness to be a direct result of their actions. That and they don't understand the Willingness Factor.
Woman 1: What do you mean?
Woman 2: Like, if he puts a five dollar bill on the table in front of you, you're like "Awww... that's so great that he's *Willing* to reach into his pocket, take out a five dollar bill, and place it on the table in front of *me!* He must really love me!" But if *you* put a five dollar bill on the table --
Woman 1: ...he's like "Oh, sweet! Five bucks!"
Woman 2: Exactly.

Listen

“The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the...”
— Goethe

 OMG WTF

“The cross-country migraine was neither milder nor more...”
— Tom Robbins

 I’m guessing he didn’t mind the flash, since...

 Frankenstein & I are like THIS.

 Curfew Team:  The proverbial turd in the punch bowl for...

 My biggest Can’t-Believe-I-Didn’t-Purchase-It...

Sara: We have to get to Iron Man early tonight, so we can get popcorn and Sour Patch Kids.
Austin: Universal doesn't even have real Sour Patch Kids; they only have the lame Sour Jack imposters.
Sara: Sour Jacks are an acceptable replacement, I think.
Austin: No! Those things are like little bites of communism.

Look what I FINALLY did without screwing it up.   Sara: 1....

Listen

“My room was clean and orderly, and if I’d had my way it...”
— David Sedaris, in his...

No, because wizards are awesome!  Passed by someone...

 I think the real question here is: Who DOESN’T want...

BACON SCARF!   omg.  i can wear it while i talk on my...

Listen

“Vaginas are awesome, except when there are infants behind...”
— Sterling

advice

me: have a HUGE presentation tomorrow
downject: oh?
me: and it's my hardest class, so it's my priority to make it perfect. i feel like i'm at the point where it's already as good as it's gonna be…
me: and by nitpicking,
me: i'm just making it worse.
me: y'know?
downject: I remember when I got a perfect score on a presentation in a copy writing class. it was hard but i totally nailed it
downject: make it funny!
me: oh, CAN'T
me: it's about sexually abused children!
humor has no place there
downject: oh.
downject: mine was about a coffee shop.

 From the roof of my ex-apartment building.   …...

Headache

Ow.

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech...”
— Ingrid Bergman

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are...”
— Jack Kerouac, On The Road

“If I love you, what business is it of yours?”
— Goethe

 The Temple of Nimrod is an actual church in South Central,...

 Oh, Lord yes.  Is the Cheeseburger Phone not the...

This chat happened in David’s living room, when we...

Sick and Inappropriate

Sara: (whining) When are you getting GTA 4?
Austin: Wait, you actually WANT me to get another video game?
Sara: Yeah...
Austin: Why?
Sara: So I can kill prostitutes.
Austin: Oh my god. I have never been more in love with you than I am right now.

“Cheese? Milk’s leap toward immortality.”
— Clifton Fadiman (via simko)

... That's it. I'm starting an icicle...

Who’s with me?

Laptop in the Lunchmeat Drawer

It’s hotter’n Georgia asphalt outside today, folks. I tried clothes, really I did, but...

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as...”
— Douglas Adams (via...

 Love hurts.

 This little girl knows exactly how gorgeous she is, and, in...

A long time ago, Nate said, “Come to a Joanna Newsom...

 I mean, if anything’s gonna cheer me up, it’s a...

Fun Fact

The glue on the back of Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.  

 So, I’m going to Tel Aviv for two weeks this summer,...

I just realized that I’m not very nice in the To Do...

 I made these buttons for Austin.

“If she was like, ‘Vinh, you can have sex with me, but...”
— Vinh, on Jenny Lewis

“So, if the test asks, ‘Do you know which regression...”
— Joanna, during our attempt at...

 This is one of my 18 study guides for my...

“I’ve never been cool until recently, when it became cool to...”
— Sara (via vinh) I get happy...

Earth is the only planet that isn't...

My most random discovery since midnight

“Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is...”
— Richard Bach

Attention, Boyfriend: FYI, this is an improper way to hang a...

congratulations

Austin: How're you doing, babe?
Sara: .. Um, I don't know. Icky.
Austin: Why? Something I did?
Sara: No...
Austin: WOOHOO!!

“… Yeah, Screech kicked my ass in chess.”
— Sterling 

 (Some days, the simplest things make me the saddest.)

Once again, I am reminded that sometimes you’ve just...

 BarfProducts.com is totally my new favorite website.

So, this ad showed up on my Gmail page, and obviously I...

Eff Ough.

The letter combination “ough” has nine different possible pronunciations.  This sentence...

Damn right they do.

“To judge from the notions expounded by theologians, one must...”
— The Marquis de Sade

As many have endured my shamelessly self-pitying data...

Grad School'll Make Ya... Jump! Jump!

Um, here’s how I can tell that finals are monopolizing my brainpower: this morning, I...

“Male, 34, would like to meet female to 30 able to...”
— Personal ad in the London...

Okay, everyone who’s known me for longer than five...

“I had trouble making friends, so I imagined them: Peter the...”
— Sufjan Stevens  (I feel you,...

I Heart David Foster Wallace

“… There are lots of epithets for people like this— Grammar Nazis, Usage Nerds,...

 This is the “OMFG Can You PLEASE Put That Camera Down...

Sunday Brunch